I think my mother is feeling guilty about giving me shoddy genes.I have a new laptop and have spent my life importing songs today. I can actually update my ipod now. And I like Paramore.Also I have spent this week at a person's great house drinking earl grey, eating cheesecake and sewing. We went shopping to buy my belated Mother's day present and wool. And to Borough Market for rhubarb as it seems impossible to get anywhere else. Heidi (she's the person) made a spice cake with it and it tasted well weird. I do not like rhubarb. There's a cheese shop (I'm sure there's an actual name other than cheese shop) just off the market and I went in to look for raclette cheese. The smell was so offensive that I shouted, "My god, it smells like a bum!" and left. I didn't realise but Jamie Oliver was there and he must think me a simpleton. Ah well.Afterwards we were walking to Regent's Park and George Galloway came by in his open-top bus with sunglasses, loud music and the worst bubble machine I have ever seen. It was all wrong. There were big men on his bus. Yesterday was the Nokia Green Room again but I decided to go to the cinema to see Lars And The Real Girl. It was nice. I generally stay away from beards but I like how Ryan Gosling looks with one. Then I went to Koko with Claire as she had wristbands. I believe we saw one song from Make Model. The whole affair wasn't very exciting so we went to Sainsbury's and Claire's house to eat bagels and watch her flatmate play on his Wii. That was much more fun. Artichokes are my new favourite food. I've had them five times this week. Yum.Tomorrow I'm going in to my new school. There'll be no children but I need to get acquainted with the place and see if I don't pass out from all the stairs.

Yesterday, Amy and I were supposed to go to a screening of The Secret at Prince Charles Theatre but we got sidetracked and burnt ourselves with free Whittard tea instead. We are going to open a cupcake shop in Burlington Arcade because it is beautiful. After some deliberation we will probably call it 'Rape & Bake' - this may be a hindrance but it wouldn't be if people knew where it originated from. I tell you. We haven't decided who will wear the 'Rape' apron yet. I wanted to eat MacDonalds in Green Park but it started to hail like a mutha. We took a bus to Putney. This is where most of our shop ideas surfaced. Then we went to Wandsworth to watch Step Up and 27 Dresses. My dear god.I'm going to miss those kids.

Thanks Bud!

Yo. My life has been so boring, I want to eat my face. My body is generally okay and I'm starting to actually see the outside world again. A bit of shopping, cinema and stuff. I won't be able to start work officially until September so I have lots of time. I'm re-knitting something I started about a million years ago. It's for a christmas present (yes, I know) and it's killing me. But I will do it. I've written lots of letters. It's nice. I like Moonlight and Dirty Sexy Money. I have spent far too much time on the internet applying for free samples and entering competitions. I went to the recording of Nokia Green Room which is being shown on 13th April. So watch it, you may see me refusing to dance. I have tickets for the 19th also. I may dance.



I've always dreamed of name pencils!



I made mini banana cakes. Tasted like old woman.

I am so totally back. I hope you are all fine, I have obviously not been reading my page. This laptop has no 'a' key. This is proving to be quite trying. Okay. So, I left my job of five years (considering my age I think this is a bit good) because of some stuff which was shocking. I am absolutely too tired to think about it anymore. But it meant me not starting my degree. I was offered a new job at another school and they needed me right away. My final day was 15th Feb. On 28th Jan I had to fly to Seychelles because my grandmother died the day before. The funeral was on the 30th. There was much to do. My family is well known, too well known for my liking. People kept kissing me in the street. The army was there. Do you know how many cousins I have on my mother's side? 39. I have 40 first cousins. Does this shock you as much as it does me?

I spent my birthday on a plane this year. Mostly sleeping and clutching my stomach. I was slightly more ill in Seychelles than normal. I foolishly went back to work the day after we landed. I was too sick to go in the following day. I had one week left in the school. No one knew I was leaving. I had handed in my resignation and my flight was the next working day so I hadn't even talked to the headmaster. I managed to crawl around being useless for my final week and people kept bothering me with why I was leaving and generally pissing me off. I didn't mention the new job.

The next week I went to the doctor so he could prescribe me with some hardcore painkillers. He admitted me into hospital. The doctors were confused. They thought it was my appendix. Then TB! Then some other stuff. I lost 11lbs in my first week. I had lots of scans, tests, drips, pains, two blood transfusions. They didn't let me eat, I vomited my life away because the medicine made me sick as did the anti-sickness pill. So they had to inject it in my bum, a lot. It hurt. I had an injection in my stomach and a blood test everyday. I had done all the prep for a colonoscopy and then they decided it was too risky. Three teams of doctors were treating my case and they could never decide or agree what to do. I had to drink one litre of solution in 30 minutes. It's not that much, but when you've had nothing in your stomach for a while, it's hard. They wouldn't let me go pee! I had another CT scan, the solution blew up my bowel. It showed that 10 centimetres of my bowel was inflamed with Crohn's disease. There was also a hole and it had wrapped itself around another bit of my bowel. They tried to do keyhole surgery but it didn't work. The operation lasted 6 hours. It is usually no more than two.

The first thing I asked when i woke up was if I had a stoma. I didn't. That was the one thing that scared the bejesus out of me. I had a catheter for a day but I didn't give a damn. My nose kept bleeding because of the oxygen. They are still doing tests on what they removed. I might not be allergic to gluten. I am allergic to morphine. I have chronic anaemia and a borderline pulse rate, that's it so far.

I came home on Tuesday after my month in hospital. My new job said I could start after the Easter holiday. It will take another six weeks to recover. My scar is about 25cm long but I haven't looked at it yet. They removed the staples today. It hurt a little. So, yes.

My life is completely too mad to have me posting on this.I've been quite sick, had antibiotics and a painy blood test. I'm better now although I haven't had the results back yet.

I got an amazing unlimited cinema pass and have been exploiting it to hell. I have seen about one million movies, including Stardust about seven thousand times and Golden Compass only once because it is the crappiest thing in known history. We were well disappointed. Been watching an alarming amount of X Factor because I love Rhydian and I want to steal him and keep in my room so I can listen to his beautifulness whenever I please. No, really. I watch it the three times it's shown each week. I also like Same Difference but not nearly as obsessively. I do have to avert my eyes and...ears (can you avert such things?) when that stupid twit Louis (how do you even spell it, eh?) comes on the tv. I don't like him at all.

I'm cooking Christmas dinner this year and I have been fervently scrutinising every recipe in my mother's large collection of cookery books. I am getting a blank one of my own this year and I'm going to write only the good ones and get rid of all the others as it's just riduculous. I've been making cakes, biscuits, puddings everyday and we are all getting quite fat. It's hilarious. Also, jam. I have made about 4 jars in nine days. I didn't even like jam before. I've only been to two gigs that I can recall. Wombats on Friday. I love them and that guy speaks in the best way. Also Scarlet Soho.

There's complete lunacy going on at work with colleagues and something that closely resembles the burn book featured in Mean Girls! I have never been so angry in my whole life and once the investigation is finished, I'm leaving. I'm pissed off that someone could do such a thing, the amount of people involved and the serious impact it's going to have. I blinked and everything went psycho. Heavy, man. I don't think I'll be on here again for a long while. I hope everyone is well and enjoy Christmas please!

I watched Resident Evil at the cinema. It was scary. I had to take off my glasses. It was still scary. I also watched Stardust which is WELL GOOD. I loved it.

Amy saw Mark Ronson on Wednesday and then won tickets to see him again on Thursday at Shepherd's Bush. The support was so offensively boring that I had to listen to my ipod while they played. Mark Ronson was pretty good. Except for the silly, silly rapper guy that kept spoiling songs with his "make some noiseeeeeee" - what a loser.I had to pick up my camera from the stage door and I shocked all the lackies with my refusal of being a fan and how I managed to get through them all to get to the door. I was only interested in getting back my camera! We did not go to the aftershow. There's only so much hip-hop a person can take.

Tonight we are going to the Friday Night Late thingy at the V&A.

The Natural History Museum.I did not see the dinosaurs because the queue was MENTAL.


The Science Museum

Howdy.What have I been up to? Lots of things. Mainly not thinking Topher Grace is so cute after his sharp-teethed role in Spiderman 3. I just watched it. I couldn't tell you whether I liked it or not because I simply can't remember. Later I'm going to watch the complete Back To The Future trilogy with no breaks. I sometimes like to set myself these kinds of challenges. Maybe not tonight as I have to go to the cinema and football tomorrow. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by falling asleep.

We had our school trip to Brighton. It was really nice. A boy threw up on the coach and then he had to pee in a bottle. Everything was fine until the bus jerked and the bottle of pee rolled down to where I was sitting. I did not approve.I went to Winchester to see Capital X and Scarlet Soho play. I did not watch Robots In Disguise. Amy and I were upstairs when they were eating and I think they wanted us to act starstruck. We didn't. We missed a football match because the bus driver got really lost. So we went shopping instead. On 13th October I went to watch Neil's Children at the Roundhouse.



After I went to have some chicken wings in Nando's. Then Claire, Rachel and I went to a (possibly) Vietnamese restaurant for more food. Rachel has a club and it was the 5th birthday party at Koko. We went to do some things before it opened. Namely playing with bubbles on the roof. It was well good.



I felt like a pimp last Monday when I saw Rum Shebeen at Soho Revue Bar. It was very smokey.



I had a first aid course. Which I am the best at. Feel free to injure yourself next to me. I am especially good at slings.

Yesterday I went to church at Brompton Oratory. It is beautiful! Then to The Natural History and Science Museums. I hadn't been for many years and I decided to beat the half-term crowd. They aren't that good. I'll post the pictures elsewhere because this post is killing me.

Then The Von Erich Family played at Lock Tavern. Boy Kill Boy were headlining. I don't know if it was a secret gig but it was well packed. I had to stand on a stool and I took no good pictures. Security said it was only guestlist. I told him it wasn't and he let me in. An hour later he wouldn't let my friends in, so I had to sort him out. They got in after that.I stayed over at their house and today we went to Ikea where I bought wrapping paper and Elderflower cordial.



That guy on the left is Dev. From places.