You know what band is really very good? The Indelicates. I saw them at Nambucca on Saturday and it was lovely. And you know what? I really am 23. It just fits.



A camera belonging to a particularly amusing man destroyed my b&w pictures as there are NO FACES because of his DEATH FLASH.



All the ones of the guitarist were a blurred mess. And not even an arty blurred mess.

On Sunday, my father found a letter buried under much paperwork and it turned out to be those Dirty Pretty Things tickets! So Amy and I braved perilous traffic (ever crossed by Marble Arch not using the lights? Go on, try it) and deranged red setters to go to Shepherd's Bush. Never been there before. I've led quite a sheltered life, really. Amy bought Red Stripe. I had Nurishment. We sat in the park with the drunks. Amy drank out of a bag to make them feel good about themselves. I had loads of hassle from the local foreign men. I didn't do anything. DPT are boring, aren't they? Come on, admit it. Highlights of the evening included beer being poured down my panties and seeing members of Paddingtons. We left after about five songs.

On Monday, we saw This Is England. It's a bit fantastic! See it. I shall leave with some bad news. I have to wear glasses FOREVER.I'm not vain or anything, but imagine what happens when it rains.

This week I went to see Painted Veil. Edward Norton is in it. I like Edward Norton. It was a nice film. I don't think I'd buy it. But it was nice. The subject matter wasn't nice at all. But, y'know. Nice.

I bought some glasses. The ones you wear when you can't see good. They are just regular Specsavers ones. I have as much aggravation choosing glasses as I do choosing shoes. I picked the only pair that didn't make me look like Dame Edna Everage.

Amy had complimentary tickets to Camden Crawl. So we foolishly went. We had lots of fun, that had nothing at all to do with it. We spent most of our time outside the youth centre near The Hawley Arms. Amy drank alot of warm coke and rum. By alot, I mean pretty much a whole bottle of each. I had about a cup. We also went to McDonalds where I raged about the lack of ice-cream. "No ice-cream?! Then what's the point of my even being here?!" - I think I said that to the staff. I also had a scuffle with Sainsbury's security. Apparently you are not even allowed to look at alcohol if you are under 18. It's a good thing that I'm flipping 23 then, innit! There was a brief argument before I was willing to show my id. He was flabbergasted. I told him to say sorry. He said sorry. I also said that I would never enter that shop ever again. I did the next day. But that's not the point.

We saw a bit of Brigade. Bit loud. Then we gave up on the crawl and went to see Rum Shebeen instead. They used to be the Ludes. There was a drunk guy who was celebrating his birthday. He seemed nice. But drunk, of course. A duo called Air Hammer played and they are AMAZING. The singer has that vintage (yes) Elvis Costello thing. They sounded like all my favorite theatre productions in one! They are playing CROYDON (ha!) tomorrow and I might go see them. I was supposed to see Dirty Pretty Things (HA HA!) but my free tickets have not appeared. I say free not to show off. But for you to realise that I would never actually pay to see them. Okay.

I like Rum Shebeen. They are like reggae, but good! After we reluctantly rejoined the crawl. Went some places. Missed Amy Winehouse. Saw a bit of The Damned. Stole a toilet sign from Koko. Heh, I am so juvenile. Did some other stuff. Then went home. I had work the next day! I got in about 3am.

The next day we went back to the centre. I had my own bottle of vodka this time. Crackers and butter, too. A guy was juggling bottles for a while. A dog clearly didn't like it because he kept barking aggressively at him. Spent a lot of time laughing in Morrisons toilet. A cleaner came in. Amy and I were sharing a cubicle. I hope it didn't seem too strange. Security was called to the photobooth we were in. Focus on the shoplifters, you bumface! We were only having our picture taken.

We attempted to see Pull Tiger Tail but went to Nandos. I can't really remember what happened then but I know it involved many straws. Tried to see Tiny Dancers. But went upstairs to what looked like a transvestite bar. Went to Electric Ballroom to see Billy Bragg, saw a bit of The Kissaway Trail. Had a nice space at the front. But my body told me NO MORE, so we went home. So, there you go.



Some Amy quotes:

"When people are drunk they say their teeth go numb. I can't feel my teeth anyway. How does that work?"

"Are they really policemen? No, I think they're rent-a-cops."

"I don't like Vodkat. I like vodka. Vodcrap, that's what they should rename it."



On the above:

Amy: "I feel bad now because that sticker won't come off."
Me: "No, it's graffiti art. You're like Bolshy."
Amy: "Bolshy?!? (many seconds pass) Do you mean Banksy?"

Rum Shebeen:

This is a long entry. I became very bored whilst typing this. It may not make much sense. I have had a good week.On Tuesday I went out with a lady from work. We did a bit of the treasure hunt featured in Time Out. We only solved about four clues but it was nice. We went in Brompton Oratory (which is well nice, I might make it my regular church) whilst there was a mass on. By accident, of course. I didn't leave because I needed to find an answer. I ate samosas by the Albert statue. Vegetarian ones.

I saw Scarlet Soho in Southampton on Wednesday. I got really drunk on the coach. I had vodka and lemonade. You can really tell how drunk you are by standing up. And it was a shock when I tried to leave the coach. I was very hungry, so I bought an apple and banana pieces in Asda. They were tasty. Bumped into the buds randomly by some traffic lights. I can't really remember what happened but I think I smiled. Alot. SS were FANTASTIC. Most of the people there were young enough to be my own children. They liked kissing each other. I can't even tell you about the other bands, really. I remember talking to Claire, Scarlet, Colin and another dude about Disney m ovies. I think I swore alot. Not in relation to that particular conversation, though.I stayed at Claire's house (it's well nice) in a nice soft bed. The next day we went shopping. We had pizza and I had a CRAZY milkshake with Minstrels. I wasn't convinced such a thing existed. But, by gum, it does! And there's even one in Croydon that I never even knew about.

I was supposed to see Dustin's Bar Mitzvah play when I arrived back in London, but I was unsure if it was still on because they are totally splitting up. So I never did go.

Friday was a nice day of house related things. Like ironing. I like to watch the Pirates Of The Cab (yes) movies whilst I iron. It's become a tradition for me now. Yesterday I had a lovely plan to go to this and then to see an AUSTRALIAN band called The Kits. I drew maps, had bus info and everything. When I arrived at Amy's house, she told me that we HAD to see Babyshambles play in a crazy place called Edmonton. I have lived in London for around 16 years and I've never heard of such a place. It took us fifty years to get there and I'm sure we crossed many timezones. The evening passed just as painfully. The mic kept breaking so everything lasted a long time. Amy got very drunk and rowdy. Men kept talking to me. I had to tell one that I was VERY BUSY because he wouldn't leave me alone! Another shook my hand and tried to make me go somewhere with him. I said no. A little while later he stood behind me eating someone's face off. I soon forgot about him, until he came to pester me again some hours later. And people wonder why I am sometimes rude. Babyshambles came on after much comedy security measures by the bar staff. I had a nice seat on an amp, but I had to stand on it because young people are rude. I did fear for my life. There was a ginger jesus near me, so I shouldn't have worried too much.

I took pictures with flash. It's quite unlike me. I think I blinded everyone. Pete Doherty looks just the same in real life as he does in...unreal life. It's quite mad. I wanted to give him a wet wipe. And, I have to say, they weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. So there you go.It took us a hundred years to get home. Police had to be called to our bus. I wanted to beat the baddies with my stolen drumstick. I don't know why I have it. I wouldn't call myself a fan.Today, we went to Brick Lane and saw all the 'cool' bohemian people sitting in the street and being self-righteous about not washing. I had to stuff a bag of chocolate peanuts down my throat because I wasn't allowed to bring them in with me. The bouncer said I looked like a baby. Which is really rude.

Pete & The Pirates cancelled but we stayed a while listening to good music. Then we went to Hyde Park, which was lovely.Then we went home.



Hyde Park fun:



There was some sort of skate-off. This amusing man was involved:



Now, I'm sure that's just about enough of my life for the moment.

Happy Easter, innit.

I am listening to the My Chemical Romance documentary on Radio 1. Am I sad? I hope so. I went to see them two weeks ago. Their fans seem to be short and have no care for fashion or hygiene. I think this album is the only good one. Because I didn't like any other song they played. Nice visuals. The fire canons singed my eyebrows. Afterwards I picked confetti from a girl's hood as she was walking. She didn't realise. I put them in my scrapbook. Heh.

I saw Scarlet Soho. I went to the Maximo Park instore on Wednesday. They really didn't try to make me like them. At one point, I looked up, turned to Amy and said, "I forgot they were even playing." We left. There was a hoodlum with blue extensions or dreads or some sort of hair decoration. He kept going on the escalators so he could get a good view. Other escalator people were clearly not interested.

I have also seen some movies. Elizabethtown, George Of The Jungle, Love & Hate. Some other ones. Libertine, which I turned off, it was rubbish! We went to the previews of Blades Of Glory and Sunshine. The first made me laugh my insides out. The second made me want to eat my insides. Don't see it. No, see it and then agree with me. We did see Amy Lame on the way home. As she passed us, my Amy said, "We even have the same name." To her face. I laughed.

On Thursday, we decided to go to the opening of Primark in Oxford Street. We like going places. My mum told me there was a rumour that for the first hour everything was being sold for a pound. I think that's true because the queue to get in was longer than the Great Wall Of China. We never did go in. We don't actually like Primark.So we went elsewhere. H&M, Selfridges where we saw a nice Surrealism thing and where Amy bought a cake tin. I almost choked on Jelly Beans. The other lady always gives me flavours I like. Then we went to Camden. I had some meat in Mcdonalds. I'm still a vegetarian though. Six weeks! Later we went to Kingston. To Primark. Friday I went shopping in Croydon. TK Maxx had to be evacuated. Why is it that when I want to budget-buy, everything goes wrong? I bought shoes from New Look. After spending at least three hours the day before trying to find a pair, I found those in about two minutes. They are just what I like.

Wow, this is a long entry of nothingness!